fantabulously maria

My sister & brother-in-law recently moved to a new apartment in Seattle over the past week and being the amazingly wonderful sister I am offered my interior design, handy “wo”-man services, etc to help them get moved and settled into their new place.  If only they had known that the following email would be arriving shortly after……

Dear Client(s) -

Thank you for choosing Innovative Services Corp. for all your needs.  Below you will find an invoice for services from Innovatively Designed Inc., Innovative Handy-WoMan Services, Innovative Food Delivery, & The Innovative ATM Co..  Please pay promptly as your account is PAST DUE.  If needed a payment plan can be set up with interested at 25.6% DPR (Daily Percentage Rate)

Innovatively Designed Inc.
- Comprehensive Space Planning & Floor Plans – $500
- Material/Furnishing Selection – $300
- On-site Design Consulting – 20 hrs @ $75/hr = $1,500 (*Friends & Family Discount of $25/hr)
- Misc Parking – $7.40

Innovative Handy-WoMan Services
- On-Site Furniture Assembly/Installation – 20 hrs @ $60/hr = $1,200 (*Friends & Family Discount of $15/hr)
- Moving/Hauling/Storage – 6 hrs @ $60/hr = $360 (*Friends & Family Discount of $15/hr)

Innovative Food Delivery
- Panera – $18.73
- Krispy Kreme – $3.07
- McDonald’s – $13.34
- Chipotle – $21.63 (Comp’d as Friends & Family Discount) = $0
- Delivery Service Charge – $5/meal = $25
- Mileage – 25 miles @ $0.58.mile = $14.50

The Innovative ATM Co.
– WA Brewers Festival Cash Purchases
- Event Ticket – $21.50 (includes $1.50 online service fee)
- WABL Membership – $25
- Add’l Drink Tokens – $10
- Food – $8

MISC INNOVATIVE FRANCHISE CHARGES
– Physical Stress – $1,067
- Emotional Scaring – $479
- Sleep Deprivation – $926
- Dog Neglect – $83,475

TOTAL DUE – $89,953.54

Thank you for choosing Innovative Services Corp for all your Interior Design, Handy-Man, Food Delivery, & ATM Needs!  We look forward to working with you again in the near future.

Sincerely,

Maria J. Dominicci, CEO
Interior Designer
Handy-Woman
Food Delivery Driver
ATM

I had to be creative, and the greatest thing is that my sister printed it and put it in her husband’s “Bills to Pay” folder.  I think I’ll buy a new car with the money!  Porsche anyone?

Living in or around Washington DC and working a corporate or government job means you dress the part.  While most offices have now instituted a business casual dress code, that are plenty that still require men to wear ties each day and women to wear close-toed shoes and pantyhose.   My office in Arlington, VA was not too stuffy.  The men could wear polo shirts and kacki’s and women could get away with open toed shoes, although backless were frowned upon yet not really enforced.   However, even on Friday’s we were not allowed to wear jeans (which was a huge blow to me) and flip flops of any kind were an absolute no-no!  Even if you wore flip flops on mass transit you better not get caught getting off the elevator by the VP’s in them or hell hath no fury like a bow-tie wearing VP who loathes flip flops and denim.   I venture to say that 99% of the country has the following visual idea of “business casual”.

That 99% however does not include Seattle, or probably the Pacific Northwest as a whole.  Seattle is a fairly decent sized metropoltan city with large corporate presence such as Microsoft, Amazon, Expedia, & many others, however the idea of “dress for success” is a completely 180 degrees here than in Washington, DC.   On my first day to work here in Seattle I showed up wearing nice dress slacks, a button down shirt and high-end cardigan only to see half the people in my office wearing jeans or looking like they just rolled out of bed.  I had to double check and make sure I had reported to work on a Monday and not Friday by accident.    On any given day I think about half the workforce commuters on my bus are wearing jeans to the office.   I have to admit, that I have embraced this NW way of life quite well.  I love to call my co-workers in Arlington on a Tuesday and say “I’m wearing jeans!” just to get a rise of them.  I still can’t bring myself to dress down too much, switching my slacks for denim is about as far as I have taken it, but I think I still dress fairly conservative compared to others.  As the weather has gotten warmer recently I’ve seen everything from flip flops, shorts, t-shirts, even kilts being worn to the office.   Perhaps Seattle is taking their cues from American Idol’s Anoop, because he seems to have Seattle’s “Business Casual” down pat…sans contestant # of course.

…and yes, this is reason #278 why Seattle and the Pacific NW are better than Northern VA/DC!

I realized something today…I am old!   Not old, as in over the hill, or even close, but “old” as in not in college anymore.  Yes, I have been out of college for 4 years (*sigh) now, but today I realized that I am past of the point of even acting like I’m still in college.

Anyone who knows me well knows that drinking soda from a can (particularly Dr. Pepper) makes me burp something fierce.  As I’m sitting at work drinking my, now rare, can of Dr. Pepper I realized that I feel sick because I’m holding in a huge burp!  How can I get rid of the gassy bubble in my stomach while sitting in the office, without being repulsive??   Then I remembered back to my days in college where I would let out the loudest longest burp, and then mutter “excuse me” with a HUGE smile on my face, and glance at the people around me thinking “yeah that big old burp came from lil’ ole me…holla!”, while being so impressed with myself.   I long for those days back.

I spend many a lunch break at work, sitting at my desk reading antics on fmylife.com or the lastest from textfromlastnight.com.   Sometimes I laugh out loud and get strange looks from colleagues… but the entries are just that funny.  I miss the days when I single-handedly could’ve kept “Texts From Last Night” going from my late night mobile phone antics, and when my life was interesting enough to make a post on fmylife.com (which I will say I have been rejected from at least 6 times when I tried to submit).

Am I that old? Is my life really that boring now?  What happened to my careless days of college?  Sure, I have to work for a living now, but does that mean I can’t get a little crazy after hours?

Being a dog owner myself, I really appreciate living in a city that is so dog-friendly, allowing me to walk my dog and take her almost everywhere I go.   Seattle is a great dog-city, and on any given block of the city you are bound to see a few dogs out and about with their owners.  

Most people I see out on the streets and stop to chat with while our dogs politely sniff each others rear-ends, are carrying baggies and seem like responsible pet owners, but that apparently is not always the case.  Any tree Lane stops out while we’re on a walk is bound to have at least one or two piles of dog “stuff” there.   Dog owners who don’t’ pick up after their dogs has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves!   To a non-dog owner, putting your hand in a plastic bag to reach down and pick up a pile of steaming poo sounds utterly disgusting, but that is a responsibility that comes along when you add a dog to your family, or so I thought.

There are so many rude and irresponsible dog owners in the city that just allow their dogs to go and walk away.   Sometimes they leave piles right in the middle of the sidewalk!!  Not only should there be some sort of test of picking up poo that you must pass before getting a dog, but there should be some cosmic law that if you dont’ pick up after your dog then the next day you’ll step in a pile of dog poo!

The city should consider using the sign above.  I hope the police really start enforcing this.

People of Seattle (and everywhere else)…pick up after your dogs!!

As a reward to myself for all my hard hours at the gym and at chipotle I splurged with some money I have been saving to treat myself and bought a Nintendo Wii!!  I couldn’t resist myself!  I found a great deal on craigslist for a Wii only 8 months old with 6 games, controllers, and a Wii fit!

I convinced myself that the splurge was ok since it came with a Wii Fit and would ultimately help me with my goal to lose more weight and be healthy, but honestly I’m more excited about playing tennis, bowling, and a little boxing.  I just hope my boxing coach doesn’t get jealous that I’m cheating on him with a Wii instructor on the side.  Haha.

The one extra that was included in the bundle I bought, and perhaps the extra that push me over the fence when deciding whether or not to buy it was that it came with a Microphone and the American Idol Karaoke game!  That’s right folks, on any given day you can probably walk through Belltown and hear me belting out some classic tunes and then hear the infamous Simon Cowell praise my “brilliant” vocal performance!!

I am so excited to finally have a Wii that I can barely contain myself.  It’s only 1pm and I am so tempted to hop on a bus and head home right now to start playing!  Hooray for Wii!!